I am absolutely loving this lockdown. Please believe me, this is not a cry for help.
You're going to need some background. Towards the end of last year I decided to change. Change myself so that I could grow. I was tired, tired of settling (in both ways). I wanted to change and so I did. How do you change, from my experience the first step is to accept that you want to change and that it is only you that can bring about the change. Next is to change your environment. I cut off many people from my life since the end of last year.
From around February this year I began seeing the results. I was happy. Genuinely happy. It's interesting, I'm sure you've heard of the law of attraction and the other idea that you attract what you are. It's true. Trust me. Ever since I started explicitly making the effort to change myself, my life changed. The people I was attracting into my life changed, the places I go to changed and most importantly my general mood changed: I was happy. I know you won't believe me about the law of attraction idea, but believe me it is true.
Onto more serious notes: my writings. I started noticing my poetry changing- which was not surprising. While I was writing Life lessons I was at a point where I realised that the only way to achieve something is for you do work and get it yourself. And the biggest lesson for me was realising that I needed to make the change. And it was then that I realised that the most prominent lessons we learn in life are actually the ones we teach ourselves. Think about it.
Writing Your reason was honestly my happiest time this year. Thinking about it now... I'm smiling. This piece came while I was doing my make-shift corona home workout. At first I started gyming at home so that once we go back after the pandemic (haha don't laugh) I'd be in shape and people would notice. It took my fifth set of weighted push ups for me to realise why I was actually working out. I stopped and thought, 'yes I'm working out so that people will notice me' and this was funny because deep down I knew this was not the case. I stopped and sat and actually gave my inner voice his chance to speak. And for the first time in weeks I actually said it out loud, 'I'm working out for myself. I want to feel good, I want to have a healthy body for myself'. I smiled. Idk, there's something special about voicing your inner voice, it's powerful. After that day my workouts changed. I was pushing myself. Rep after rep. Set after set and after each workout I'd smile. Realise what your reasons are, that's where I'll leave this.
I'm happy. Genuinely happy
